Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Monday, April 30, 2007

When thoughts become silly threads


I was all set to publish a blog post I’d just about completed. Then my faithful friend Tony Michalski sent me a couple of links to some recent threads on the official discussion forum of The Secret. Well, that threw me off schedule a bit, blogging-wise. "Darn you, Tony!" I e-mailed to him.

And he e’d back, "No use darning me, you keep me in stitches as it is!"

Damn. I wish I’d thought of that one. Anyway…

Looking at Tony’s emails, I was particularly taken by a thread titled, "Manifesting unicorns." A guy named Leo started the ball rolling by mentioning that according to The Secret video, "Thoughts become things." Here’s what Leo wanted to know:

What's the difference between manifesting 10 billion dollars and 10 thousand dollars?

Why do we settle for $10,000 when the universe, according to the secret video, doesn't make a distinction between how huge or tiny a wish that we make?

How about going to the extreme and wish for a unicorn?

Joe Vitale mentioned that it has to be something we can believe in.

However what we can believe in is probably what is already do-able in the physical plane.

For instance, a 40 year-old can never be 20 again. We can't genuinely believe in its happening.

If LOA only works on do-able things, so what's the difference between LOA and working out a plan to achieve what we wanted?

Just curious, how about a mentally ill person who genuinely believes and wishes for a unicorn? Well he believed it, and wished for it. Will his wish be granted?

To me that raises an even more fascinating question: Just what sort of unicorn would a mentally ill person manifest? So I did a little research and found out; see the pic to the left.

Anyway, Leo's question led to a brilliant discussion that surely must rival some of those legendary debates of old, regarding how many angels can stand on the point of a needle (no, the argument apparently never was about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin). Naturally, a few folks brought up Abraham’s opinion about such matters – not the Biblical Abraham, of course, but Esther and Jerry Hicks’ imaginary buds. One person pointed out that Abraham said something to the effect that when we agree to incarnate in this plane of existence, we also agree to abide by its physical laws. Others seemed to think that was too limiting. At one point a bubbly soul named Sandy wrote:

Unicorns.. fairies.. they exist energetically as do many other beautiful beings! :) And the manifesting is instant, because there is no space in between asking and connecting with them :)

Well, that should settle that.

This unicorn thread hit me for a couple of reasons, beyond its sheer absurdity. To begin with, I used to like unicorns and fairies and such myself…when I was a kid, that is. I suppose I could access my inner Little Connie (as I was recently advised to do), and see if she still fancies those things. But I’m afraid she’d kick the crap out of me.

At any rate, the main reason this thread hit me was that it somehow reminded me of a recent op-ed piece by author and New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman. The topic was, "China needs an Einstein, and U.S. could use one, too." Friedman had been reading Walter Isaacson’s new biography of Albert Einstein, and it dawned on him that the book had a lot to say about the relationship between freedom and creativity – and, by extension, about China and the US.

Though China isn’t mentioned in the book, Friedman points out that Isaacson’s recounting of Einstein’s career is relevant to a couple of ongoing debates about China. One question is this: Can China become as innovative as America – can it truly become the force to be reckoned with in the twenty-first century, as so many have predicted – when it insists on censoring Google and maintaining tight political controls while establishing its market economy?

Einstein was a rebel all of his life, as Isaacson pointed out in a recent interview, and he fled Hitler’s Germany to come to America, where he resisted both Stalinism and McCarthyism. His major theories, Isaacson noted, "come from taking rebellious imaginative leaps that throw out old conventional wisdom." The implication is that a repressive cultural and political climate such as China’s could never have nurtured an Einstein.

On the other hand, Chinese students consistently outperform American students in math and science. China’s education system may not be set up to nurture a creative, rebellious genius such as Einstein, but it is apparently structured to produce a population of scientifically and mathematically literate students. China, in other words, is doing some things right. By comparison to their Chinese counterparts (and those from other countries as well), American students are still pretty abysmal in math and science. The fault, it could be argued, lies in large part with the way these subjects are taught in the US.

Granted, China’s rigorous education system is arguably a product of a repressive culture, and what works there might not necessarily work in our relatively free society. Even so, US schools could and should encourage interest in science and math. And they could do it, perhaps, by teaching these subjects in a more creative way.

As Friedman puts it, "[Einstein] found sheer beauty and creative joy in science and equations. If only we could convey that in the way we teach science and math, maybe we could nurture another Einstein – male or female – and not have to worry that so many engineers and scientists in our graduate schools are from China that the classes could be taught in Chinese."

Isaacson agrees, saying, "We have to remind our kids that a math equation or a scientific formula is just a brush stroke that the good Lord uses to paint one of the wonders of nature," Isaacson said, "and we should look at it as being as beautiful as art or literature or music."

Now, Isaacson may or may not have a handle on Einstein’s views of God, but his point is well taken nonetheless. Besides, my atheist friends tell me that it is not necessary to believe in God in order to appreciate the beauty and order in math equations. I’ll just have to take that on faith, since I am so mathematically ignorant that all I can see when I look at a math equation is a jumbled bunch of numbers. In fact that TV show Numb3rs makes me want to run out of the room screaming. Not only do I find the characters and dialogue annoying (I liked Rob Morrow way better as a whiny Jewish doc who’d been exiled to Alaska), but the math stuff is way above my head, even with the cool graphics and effects. Still, even I can intellectually grasp that math and physics can be things of beauty, and that if they were taught differently in our schools – maybe even using shows like Numb3rs – they could be as fascinating as fairies and unicorns.

I am particularly interested in Einstein these days not so much because of that new bio, but because he is one of the dead geniuses extracted from the pages of history by Rhonda Byrne and plunked into The Secret. Supposedly our pal Al was one of those who were privy to the Law Of Attraction, along with Jesus and Plato and Mother Theresa and other famous dead people. But darn those buggers; they kept LOA from the rest of us until Rhonda dug it up and repackaged it for the world. (There was an amusing discussion about this on Blair Warren’s blog not too long ago.) One of the major criticisms of The Secret is that it portrays LOA as a scientific law akin to the law of gravity; proponents say that LOA is backed by quantum physics. And as you probably know, quantum physics is a real big thing in New-Wage circles, as evidenced by the success of The Secret, Ramtha infomercial What The Bleep Do We Know?!?, and authors such as Gregg Braden and Bruce Lipton.

And that, to me, only reinforces Friedman and Isaacson’s points about the need for a new approach to science and math education in the US. The way I see it, we in the US have two choices in this matter.

We can insist that our schools revamp math and science ed – beginning at the elementary-school level – in a way that ensures that real science and math (as opposed to the mostly imaginary, magical-thinking "science" being touted by New-Wage hustlers) actually has a chance of being understood and embraced by students.

Or we can throw up our hands in exasperation as Asia continues to produce brilliant scientists and mathematicians, and Americans continue to make Rhonda Byrne and JZ Knight obscenely rich, as we look to The Secret and What The Bleep for our "science" information, and we spend our days engaging in scintillating discussions about manifesting unicorns.

The choice is ours.

PS – Though I’m no fan of The Secret, I understand its appeal. What I cannot understand is why huckster extraordinaire Kevin Trudeau’s latest scam, The Weight Loss Cure They Don’t Want You To Know About is doing so well. It was number 3 in its category on the New York Times Bestseller list as of last week, and number 23 on Amazon as I write this. Well, okay… there’s the "weight loss" theme – a perennially popular one, to be sure – and there’s the "forbidden secrets" appeal. BUT HAVEN’T THE PEOPLE WHO ARE BUYING THIS BOOK READ ANYTHING ABOUT TRUDEAU?!? Don’t they know what a fraud this guy is? Don’t they know they shouldn’t trust him as far as they can throw one of his books? If nothing else, why don't they read the Amazon reader reviews, and the discussion forums at the bottom of the Amazon page, before they buy?

PPS – Now that I’m done ranting, I want to remind you: Don’t forget to vote in my MystiCouple contest if you haven’t already. Or even if you have.

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Friday, April 27, 2007

Couples therapy

April 27 is a very special day for me. Not only was it my late paternal grandparents’ wedding anniversary, but it is also my AA "birthday," or "clean day," as some call it (though I should note that I haven’t been to an AA meeting in years)…and it so happens to be the nine-month anniversary of Whirled Musings. Yep, WM entered the blogosphere on July 27, 2006, and has been whirling around madly ever since. So I am going to celebrate this very special day by blogging, thinking about my grandparents, and then going out and getting plastered. Ha, ha, not really. I’m going to celebrate today by doing something a little different: holding a New-Wage popularity vote. And what you’re going to be voting on, if you so choose, is your favorite Mystical Couple, or MystiCouple.

I think you know the kind of couple I’m talking about. If you don’t, click on the links below and you’ll quickly get up to speed. I was guided to sponsor this vote by a group of disembodied beings known collectively as Abr… no, wait…I was inspired to sponsor this vote because lately I’ve been getting spam emails from several of the hardest working MystiCouples in the New-Wage world. These are couples who are truly making a difference in the lives of others by unburdening them of bothersome things such as money. I think it’s a beautiful thing when two people can strengthen their union and help make the world a better place by scamming spreading their wisdom to others.

Voting in this contest is very simple; just send a comment naming your favorite MystiCouple. Pick from the couples listed below, or if you wish, write-ins are acceptable as well. And by all means, feel free to elaborate on the reasons for your choice. (Do take the time to follow the links to the videos, music clips, etc. so you can truly get a feel for the work of these MystiCouples.)

But do yourself a favor, and try NOT to imagine these couples having sex.*

Allrighty then… Vote early, vote often, and have fun!

Sri and Kira: from Atlantis to New Mexico
You’ve met this happy couple here before. "Wisdom Teacher" Sri Ram Kaa and "Angelic Oracle" Kira Raa actually have been called "The Mystical Couple Of Our Time" by the Albuquerque Journal. (But that doesn’t mean they’re the only MystiCouple, or even the best one, so don’t let that influence your vote.) Together they run The Temple Of Self-Ascension (TOSA), kind of a combination education center and ranch that comes complete with free-range aging hippies and a few llamas (or perhaps they are actually Ascended Masters who have chosen to assume the llama form for this Earthly incarnation).

Kira is the Myssus of this couple, and she’s been dubbed the Angelic Oracle because apparently she went into convulsions one day and started channeling messages from the Archangel Zadkiel. I’ve learned all sorts of fascinating things from Kira and Sri. For instance, did you know that The Lost Continent of Atlantis apparently had Internet access? Kira and Sri originally got together on Atlantis, yet on a recent video they said they met on the Internet. Wow. You just can’t find information like this anywhere else.

Sri and Kira hold lots of gatherings, celebrations and whatnot on their TOSA digs in New Mexico. A fairly recent event of note was the consecration of an 18-foot "Merkabah of Self-Ascension" in September of 2006.

Here’s a video that will give you a good overview of what this MystiCouple is all about. Prepare to be deeply touched.

RA-Ja and Moi-RA Dove: keepers of the Temple of Knowledge
You might call them the Harold and Maude of the New Wage, if you can imagine Harold not as a gawky young man but as an aging hippie who did WAY too much LSD a few decades ago. The Mysster in this couple – RA-Ja "Merk" Dove – is no spring chicken by any means, but I would imagine that the Myssus – octogenarian Moi-RA "Lady Of The Sun" Dove – has him beat by a few years. I blogged about this odd couple a few months back. Collectively known as the StarDoves, Moi-RA, left, and RA-Ja, right, spend their days accessing beings from other dementias… er… make that dimensions… to help bring about a new era for humankind. They travel the US of A in a Winnebago, spreading enlightenment wherever they go and doing the New-Wage equivalent of shopping mall openings, e.g., presiding over stargate openings and the like.

This MystiCouple consider themselves the "Ground Crew Instructors" for their Aquarian Temple of Knowledge, which, they explain, "is overseen by a Host of Goodly Extra Terrestrial Savants and Ascended Masters from other planets and dimensions." They offer two courses: "One especially for Star People and the other on Healing."

They also provide numerous services, of which they say the most popular and longest-enduring is "the bestowal of the Star Name." For a price ranging from $77.00 to $100.00, depending upon whether the service is performed by snail-mail or email, telephone, or in person, the StarDoves will "place your soul essence beneath our Cheops pyramid and use Aquarian Star Gematria to render your star name from your star soul. The Akashic Record is consulted. Tremendous empowerment accompanies your new star name!"

Here is a video of Mysster Dove, decked out in full Pharaoh regalia, speaking at a stargate opening in Florida. Joy to the world!

Gabriel of Urantia (née Sedona) and Niann Emerson Chase: much misunderstood

Here’s a couple who has been fighting negative press for years, and yet their New-Wage organization, The Global Community Communications Alliance, seems to be stronger than ever. The artist formerly known as Gabriel of Sedona, who now calls himself Gabriel of Urantia, lives with his common-law wife Niann and countless minions on their compound, The Aquarian Concepts Community, in magical mystical Sedona, Arizona. Through their Global Community Communications Alliance they provide a broad range of services, from education to counseling to guided tourism to real estate sales. Most of all they humbly exist to be of service to humanity. Gabriel, the Mysster in this couple, has been quoted as saying, "Everything I do is justified. I am the mandated ruler of the world."**

And Gabriel is much more than a savior of humankind and ruler of the world; he is also a musician of some note*** who has invented a brand new genre he calls CosmoPop. It’s not just New Age music; though it does bring to mind Chris Locke’s comment on same, CosmoPop is ever so much more. As lead vocalist in a band called Gabriel of Urantia and his Bright and Morning Star Band, Gabe sounds somewhat like I imagine Neil Young would if Young were totally incapable of carrying a tune and had been kicked in the balls and then run over by a Mack truck. He (Gabe, that is, not Neil) is backed by some decent musicians, as well as a couple of shiny happy NAGs (New Age Gals) – Dawn to his Tony Orlando – with radiant faces but slightly sour voices. Or maybe it’s just my sound card. Anyway, you definitely owe it to yourself to preview Gabriel of Urantia and his Bright and Morning Star Band. Treat yourself to each and every one of the song clips; in particular, do not miss "Wake Up America."

And then take a look at this video clip, in which the Mysster and Myssus defend themselves and their organization against their detractors.

Jerry and Esther Hicks: the secrets behind The Secret
On first glance, it might seem that Jerry and Esther, the George and Gracie of the New-Wage world, don’t really belong here. To begin with, unlike most of the folks mentioned above, they don’t look as if they haven’t bought a new wardrobe or hairdo since 1969. They’re actually pretty ordinary looking. And if you count their imaginary buds The Abe Gang, they add up to more than a couple. But since we normally can’t see The Abes, I maintain that Jerry and Esther qualify as a MystiCouple. And who really cares if they don't look like refugees from the original Woodstock? It's the message that counts.

You’ve run into J & E before on this blog, as well as all over the Internet, since they were a big inspiration to Rhonda Byrne before she got too greedy and dumped them from The Secret franchise. Which, of course, is no big loss to them; they’re still raking in the dough. And like the StarDoves, they’re traveling around the US of A in their big RV, spreading the wisdom of the ages. They also sponsor sea cruises to all sorts of nifty places. To hear some samples of Jerry, Esther and The Abes’ wisdom, click here.

* * * * *

Link

Well, there you have it: four of the hardest-working, most creative MystiCouples in the business today. I’m sorry I couldn’t include arguably the greatest MystiCouple of all: Reverend Ron and Cosmic Connie, but, as you know, that would be a conflict of interest. And it just wouldn’t be fair to the other MystiCouples listed here. Besides, the Rev and I don’t have any videos – well, at least not any that we are willing to share publicly.

Now start voting!

* I guess I’ve pretty much ruined YOUR weekend, haven’t I? Sorry.
** One of Gabriel of Urantia's followers has told me that in eleven years of knowing the man, he has never heard Gabriel say or imply anything remotely on the order that he, Gabriel, is the mandated ruler or that everything he does is justified. I don't know; I am only quoting this article (also linked to above) that was written by numerous ex-members of Gabriel's community.
*** A sour note, that is.

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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Tuesday sight-bites

Crazy deadlines loom in the world of my "real" work, so this is going to be another one of those "bits and pieces" posts.

Hawkins squawkin’
Recently I received a private email asking me if I am familiar with psychiatrist, mystic and applied kinesiology advocate Dr. David Hawkins. My correspondent was kind enough to send me several links, including a link to comments by Skepdic Online author Robert Todd Caroll. I replied that I had only a passing familiarity with the good Dr. Hawkins, having mentioned his Hawkins Frequency Scale in passing on one of my blog posts last November. The real subject of my November post was Extreme Lightworker Bryan James, whom I have blogged about many times before and no doubt will again…in the very next paragraph, I predict.

Among many other services and products he offers, Bryan James helps people raise their vibrational level for "ascension." Regarding Dr.Hawkins, Bryan has this to say on his Circle of Lights web site:

Dr. Hawkins developed a Scale of Consciousness based on a logarithmic scale of 1 to 1000. He claimed that all ideas, thoughts, literature, etc., vibrate at some level. Energies above 200 are considered positive, and those below 200 are rated as negative. A level of 1000 is considered the number required for ascension.

If you follow the above link to my November blog post, you’ll be amazed at the ultra-high frequencies (far beyond 1,000) achieved by some enlightened souls – most notably Bryan’s own kids, who are, it goes without saying, Indigo children.

On his April 23 Guruphiliac post, Jody Radzik paid homage to Dr. Hawkins in the way that only he can. Or, more accurately, he allowed one of his readers to pay homage, and that reader did a fine job. As it turns out, it was the same person who had written to me, and who has also written about Hawkins on Rick Ross’ Cult Education Forum. I was particularly interested to read about the source of Dr. Hawkins’ Ph.D., which seems to be the foundation of his work:

I can see why some people might believe Dr. Hawkins’ claims; after all, Dr. Hawkins has an M.D. and a Ph.D. But, while he is a psychiatrist, his Ph.D. is from the unaccredited diploma mill Columbia Pacific University, a fact not noted in his books or on his website. This degree is the basis of his work.

Columbia Pacific University happens to be the same diploma mill where Dr. John Gray, "Ph.D." got his doctorate. Alas, CPU was shut down by the California Department of Consumer Affairs. As our reader noted, however, you’re probably not going to see much about that on Dr. Hawkins’ promo material.

But y’know, these days, it really doesn’t matter if your degree is real or not. You put those letters after your name, and voila! Instant credibility. I really gotta buy me a fake Ph.D.

Hell is rapidly emptying
Speaking of Bryan James, I recently received another email from him regarding the progress of the Nether Worlds Reclamation Project, his mission to rescue 50 million lost souls from Hell. With the assistance of the
Queen of Heaven, a few assorted gods and goddesses, an Ascended Master or two, and thousands of volunteer lightworkers, Bryan is roundin’ ’em up and sendin’ ’em home. Here are the latest numbers (as of April 17, 2007):

100% have shown some movement
100% have opened their eyes
100% are walking around (63% without assistance)
93% are asking questions (e.g., "Who am I?" or "Where am I?")
47% are regaining cognitive ability and attending schools
572,593 have been taken home to start a new beginning

If you’ve been following the progress reports here, you know that Hell is emptying at an increasingly rapid pace. Why, as of April 4, only 202,000 folks had "gone home." And now look at the numbers. For information on how you too can go to Hell and get involved in this project, just hop on over to my Easter blog post.

This place is a magnet
And speaking of numbers (do you see how all of these snippets are cleverly connected to each other?), some time over this past weekend, my "hit list" passed the 10,000 mark. The start date – the date I activated my free
hit counter – was February 22, and I have it set to log only "original hits." So, okay, I’m not getting hundreds of thousands of new hits a day, but at least a few people are making their way over here. I appreciate all of y’all – new and repeat visitors alike. I hope you’ll keep coming back.

Public service
Oh, and speaking of Jody and his Guruphiliac blog, I received a "thank you" email from someone who, apparently as a result of reading some of the posts on my blog, jumped to Jody’s and found some pretty revealing information about Sri Lanka guru (and former
Rhonda Byrne consort) Tilak. "I just popped over to Guruphiliac and learned a bunch about Tilak," the person wrote to me. "I wanted to thank you for pointing me in the right direction. I was definitely on the wrong road with this guy. So thanks."

It’s good to know that occasionally this blog can provide more than cheap laughs – not that cheap laughs are anything to sneeze at!

Calling all "Abundant Members"
And while we're on the subject of cheap laughs, my friend
Tony Michalski alerted me the other day to a brief thread on Marcy From Maui’s Powerful Intentions Forum. The topic was, "What is an abundant member?"

I responded to Tony (though in retropect it would have been more fun to respond on the actual forum):

I know the answer! An abundant member is an appendage that is belonging to man who wants to make his Woman holler and beg for more and so has responded to most urgent email composed by Person from India who know very little English but know how to Sell a pill that will enable Man to grow Monster Member to make his woman holler!

Read the first footnote in this post for real sample of such spam (although in this case it is a product to make a man *last* longer, not *grow* longer).

But, as I discovered when I actually took the time to follow the link to the thread, an Abundant Member on the PI forum is something altogether different.

I thought it was good for a cheap laugh anyway.

And now… I hate to blog and run, but the Rev and I have books to write, edit, and design. Oh, yeah, and I gotta pick up my copy of Night At The Museum, which just came out on DVD in the US today. Not only am I a diehard Ben Stiller fan, but when I was a kid, my favorite school field trips were to the local natural history museum, where I used to be drawn to the dioramas, fantasizing about what it would be like to enter those worlds-within-worlds, and have all those cave men and extinct animals and whatnot come alive and take me back in time. And believe me, there are days when I would still like to disappear into a diorama. But for now, I’m going to disappear into my other life. And for many reasons – but mostly because my other life includes The Rev – that’s not a bad thing at all.

PS on Tuesday evening: No sooner had I posted the latest numbers on Bryan James' Nether Worlds Reclamation Project than I received yet another email from him. Apparently the Nether Worlds Reclamation people have been very busy since April 17. Here are the latest numbers (as of April 21):

100% have shown some movement
100% have opened their eyes
100% are walking around (65% without assistance)
95% are asking questions (e.g., “Who am I?” or “Where am I?”)
50% are regaining cognitive ability and attending schools
629,201 have been taken home to start a new beginning

Bryan also reiterated the mission of his company: "Our goal is to help create a critical mass of higher frequency energy that will raise the planet's vibration and lead all creation into the New Age." That's why he offers the vibe-enhancement services I mentioned above. And just in case you are wondering if they are bogus, here's evidence that they're the real deal – a couple of testimonials from some hot, hungry, excited, crazily vibrating clients:

Hey Bryan! Just wanted to thank you & Kevin [Bryan's Indigo son] for the above Activation!! It was a nice surprise to get a higher frequency than was originally intended!! During the Activation, my hands got quite hot (I AM a Second Degree Reiki). I also felt Love, Peace & Beauty during the session. I also felt a lot of energy, & it was difficult to sit still after the first 15 minutes; ALSO, I got very hungry! It is GREAT to work with my First Template, & I AM excited to be able to manifest more quickly!
- Carole

Dear Bryan, I´m having trouble, because all my bodies are vibrating like crazy, that was the far largest frequency-jump I did yesterday so far. (Sample-comparison for the jump: I started at a size of a single carbon atom, now I am stretching myself far beyond the milky way galaxy). But I know that in 2 or 3 days that feeling is normal. I start on planning and working today with the new tools. That feels very good to use them, I´m quite excited.
All the best, Andreas

As I read those testimonials, particularly that one from Andreas, the lyrics of an old song were running through my mind: "Call Alice.... when she was just small..."

All I can say is, they must have some VERY good drugs in Bryan's part of the Galactic Federation.

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Monday, April 23, 2007

Orgone conclusions

The subject line in the email read, "Full Spectrum Orgone Energy, Etheric Solar Force." And the opening paragraph in the body copy was packed with promises of such apparent import that nearly every word required capitalization:

Empower Your Life with Energetically Encoded Orgone Based Creations! Utilize Full Spectrum Orgone Energy and Attain the Missing Link in the Manifestation of Your Goals! Shatter Limitations and Gain Control of Your Circumstances! Master the Power of Vibrational Energetics! Achieve the Ultimate in Personal Empowerment!

I hadn’t really thought about orgone energy or orgone anything in years; I suppose I considered it a bit passé. That shows you what I know. Truth is, there are a whole lot of folks out there who are not content to let orgones be bygones. And many still regard the creator of orgone theory, Wilhelm Reich, as a misunderstood but brilliant researcher/practitioner who was a martyr to the US Food and Drug Administration.

It’s been nearly fifty years since Reich, an Austrian psychoanalyst and Freud protégé, died in a federal penitentiary in Lewisberg, Pennsylvania – an ignominious end for a man who, in his younger days, was a respected psychoanalyst who received accolades for advances in treatment techniques. I can’t say the US government behaved reasonably or rationally in the Reich case. In fact he was treated pretty abominably. Yet Reich, as brilliant (and maltreated) as he may have been, is most remembered for some pretty loopy ideas and devices – in particular, his infamous Orgone Box.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Reich, like many of those early shrinks, was famously obsessed with sex, and you might say it was this obsession that led to his downfall. Rather early in his career, he grew impatient with the Freudians, convinced that psychoanalysis, with all of its probing of the mind, wasn’t actually doing enough about the sex problems affecting society. Analysts weren't masturbating their patients, for example... Oh, wait, I'm getting ahead of myself again.

Reich had some ideas that were considered very radical at the time, most notably, his theory of orgasm. He believed that the perpetuation of the species was just an incidental dividend of orgasm; its real function was to release sexual tension, which, left unresolved, led to neurotic behavior and worse. Now, you’d think that the simple and obvious solution for unresolved sexual tension would be to have sex, with or without a partner. But in the world of psychoanalysis, as well as natural science (Reich’s other discipline), nothing is ever that simple.

Reich was openly challenged by Freud himself, and eventually banished from the International Psychoanalytic Association for his radical ideas about sex and politics (he was a Socialist and then a Communist, and freely mixed his sexual theories in with his political ideas). He ended up in Germany but fled there in 1934 due to another Reich of a far more sinister bent; it was not a good time or place to be both a Jew and a Communist. Reich moved northward to Denmark, then to Sweden, and eventually to Oslo, Norway. It was in Oslo that he first launched a series of electrical experiments involving the body’s erogenous zones, and where his famed Orgone Box most likely had its origins.

"Orgone" was Reich’s word for cosmic energy, a life force released in great quantities during orgasm. The idea of cosmic energy, or a universal life force was, of course, not new, nor was the idea of sexual energy as a universal life force. Reich himself wrote, "I am well aware of the fact that the human race has known about the existence of a universal energy related to life for many ages. However, the basic task of natural science consisted of making this energy usable. This is the sole difference between my work and all preceding knowledge."

Hmm…sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

And those latter-day orgone pushers – the folks who sent me the email I mentioned above – seem to be pretty much in sync with Reich:

The term Orgone is synonymous with many other terms. In essence, when one speaks of Orgone, one is also speaking of Life Force, Prana, Vitality, Mana, Chi, Virl, Bio-Energy, Ki, Odic Force, Animal Magnetism, Elan Vital, Biocosmic Energy, Eloptic Energy and many other names, all of which mean the same thing…

Actually, they don’t all mean exactly the same thing, but the concept of life energy is so pliable that I guess you can make it mean anything.

Reich’s Orgone Box was a wooden contraption, roughly the size of a telephone booth, lined with zinc. It was said to contain some secret property that would soak up the orgone from the air and contain it so that it could be absorbed into the body, thereby working wonders for patients who were orgasm-challenged. And Reich, who came to the US in 1939 and set up practice in Forest Hills, New York, had other tools at his disposal as well. For example, he sometimes applied…um… manual pressure to numerous parts of his patients’ anatomy to "drive away tensions"; by his own published accounts these treatments often resulted in, shall we say, profoundly gratifying results in patients of both sexes. He also had a special orgone blanket for bedridden patients, as well as a "funnel" for use on the head and a "shooter box" for localized application of orgone energy. And for do-it-yourselfers, his Orgone Boxes could be rented for home use.

In the tradition of healer-hucksters throughout history, Reich seems to have gotten a bit carried away with his orgasm theory, with some help from enthusiastic believers, of course. According to an article in the New Republic in May of 1947, Reich and his followers at various times claimed that "orgastic impotence is the primary cause of cancer, all neuroses, all psychoses, impotence, frigidity, perversions, cardiovascular hypertension, hyperthyroidism, constipation, hemorrhoids, epilepsy, peptic ulcer, obesity, narcotic addiction, alcoholism and the common cold." And that doesn’t even begin to cover all of the ailments that, at one time or another, Reich or his adherents asserted could be banished forever by proper application of orgone energy.

Proponents of Reich’s work claim that the New Republic article, penned by freelance writer Mildred Edie Brady, was filled with distortions and inflammatory claims. In any event, in the wake of that article and other critical press, the FDA went after Reich. Their investigation resulted in a ruling that his claims were false and his "orgone accumulators" were pretty much useless. The FDA obtained an injunction barring the shipment of the Orgone Box, as well as the other orgone products, across state lines.

Reich, who by then was operating his Wilhelm Reich Foundation out of Rangeley, Maine, violated the injunction in order to force a test in court. He failed the test, and he and one of his associates, Dr. Michael Silvert, were found guilty of contempt of court and violation of the Pure Food and Drug Act. Reich was sentenced to two years in prison, and by court order several tons of his books and research journals were burned in incinerators by the FDA – which certainly does not cast the US government in the most favorable light. I am hardly the first to note the deep irony in the fact that Reich fled from Hitler’s Germany, also known for book-burning, only to encounter some of the same atrocities here in the Land of the Free.

Sadly, he did not survive his prison term. In November 1957 he died of a heart attack in his cell. His colleague Dr. Silvert, who had been sentenced to a year and a day in prison, committed suicide shortly thereafter.

But orgone theory, products and therapy of various stripes lived on. Countless therapists – some legit and some kind of fringe-y – as well as numerous folks in the entertainment and literary world, were intrigued and influenced by the concept of orgone energy. In 1971 actor, director and author Orson Bean came out with a book called Me And The Orgone, an intimate account of how his experience with orgone therapy revolutionized his life. The book hit the bestseller lists, but over the years fell out of the public consciousness, as did orgone concepts for the most part, although the American College Of Orgonomy Press issued a reprint of Bean’s book in 2000. And orgone therapy continued to attract believers and practitioners.

The orgone comes again (so to speak)
But I’ve been pretty much out of the orgone loop, having dismissed the entire concept some time ago as being soooo mid-twentieth-century. This, of course, was before I got that email I mentioned above. It came to me from a company called Mystical Wonders, which, in cooperation with a firm called Protonic Creations, is marketing
a whole line of miraculous orgone energy products. I’m sure Reich would be rolling over in his grave… but then again, maybe not.

Though Reich may have been their original inspiration when they were forging their own definition of orgone energy, the Mystical Wonders and Protonic Creations folks seem to have kept up quite well with contemporary New-Wage trends as well:

One way to think of Orgone Energy / Life Force is as a super energized cosmic fluid that knows no barriers and can be "instructed" to literally create realities within your life and affairs!

Orgone is both the "carrier" for information (intent) as well as the power source (energy) needed for the accomplishment of your objectives.

By using Life Force, you can accomplish things that you may have previously only read about! The possibilities are limitless!

This should be good news for all you folks for whom The Secret isn’t working quite the way its "stars" promised. It could be simply that you haven’t properly lassoed orgone energy. Fortunately, the good people at Mystical Wonders and Protonic Creations have just the expensive devices to help you grab those orgones and make them yours.

Did I say "devices?" My apologies; I misspoke (or, rather, mis-wrote). We don't dare use that word, as I found out when perusing the Q&A page of the Mystical Wonders and Protonic Creations. There I found this question: "Can your devices be used for negative purposes?" And the answer:

To begin with, the term "devices" should be addressed. We label our Instruments of Power as Creations because unlike a device, which may be thought of as a machine – our Creations become living extensions of you!* Our Creations are energetic in nature and function on multiple energetic levels.

So let’s look at some of these dev…er… Creations. For only $169.00, you can get yourself a Psion Prime™, which is "an Incredible Multifunctional Creation":

Empower yourself to do and become exactly as your intent dictates! Limits are shattered with The Psion Prime!

The Psion Prime is a power house! It cuts through what we at Protonic Creations call "obstacle energies"...

With the Psion Prime, you will become a Force of Power for change and creation. Make things happen the way you want them to happen!

Here's the science behind this Creation:

The Psion Prime's housing undergoes an intensive regimen of energetic processes which profoundly affects its structure at the subatomic level; permanently reconfiguring the energy pattern which the housing was originally composed of! This is achieved via our Protonic Energy Pattern Reconfiguration Process.™

And the darn thing apparently works. No, there are no double-blind studies or any of that bothersome scientific-agenda crap, but there are some pretty powerful testimonials from satisfied customers, to wit:

I purchased the Psion Prime recently and I must tell you, within a couple of weeks of using it, I went to the casino to play the quarter slots and after inserting six quarters (3X2), I won about $2500.00! I was wearing my Psion Prime around my neck. Also, since then, we've bought a wonderful new house – THE EXACT ONE my husband had wanted for a while! Anyway, lots of good things happened after I started using it. I really love my Psion Prime!

Well, heck, $169.00 isn’t very much for a dev… er… a Creation that will get you anything you want in this world. But wait, there’s more. You honestly didn’t think you would get by with spending only $169.00, did you? If so, you definitely have some issues with limited thinking. The Mystical Wonders and Protonic Creations people have many more Creations to sell to you.

There’s the $139.00 Pronamicron, for instance, which looks like a sex toy and may very well be, but it is ever so much more. This "Singularly Unique Protonic Creation" offers "Implosive Power at your Command!" It has a "Fully Contained Energized Life Force Vortex" and is "Magick and Manifestation Evolved.™" According to the site, "Whatever you keep within, your Pronamicron will be Amplified, Energetically Charged and Magnified for your purposes."

If you really want to take advantage of all of this advanced technology, though, be prepared to spend a little more money. Consider the Causal Chamber.™ It might look like an ordinary fake-Native-American vase that you can pick up at a gift shop in Taos or Sedona, but looks can be deceiving:

The Causal Chamber is by far the most powerful and empowering Protonic Creation!

Previously, our most Powerful Creation was the Psion Prime and when it comes to top level empowerment The Psion Prime is still an excellent choice! Having said that however The Causal Chamber is something else entirely.

The CHAMBER is an Ultimate Level Energetic Creation!

If that’s not enough to convince you to shell out $598.00 – or $767.00 for an add-on "special transference capacity" Psion Prime unit – I don’t know what is.

And to supplement your high-tech Creations, you have your Astral Ultrasonics CDs, which allow you to "Reach your Astral Mind and be Transformed!" They are "light years beyond Subliminal CDs." The price? A mere $89.90 per CD, or, for a special customized CD made just for you, only $129.90 a pop.

The Mystical Wonders and Protonic Creations people also have a whole line of Protonic Elixirs, "energized liquid elemental preparations specially created to enrich your life!"

Unlike homeopathy or any other modality, our Protonic Elixirs are subjected to a completely distinct set of procedures producing a unique and superior result.

Central to the creation of Protonic Elixirs is our proprietary Energetic INFUSION Encoding Process™ Our INFUSION Encoding Process imbues our Elixirs with specific energetic information. The Super Purified Water used to create our Protonic Elixirs undergoes an array of treatments which converts this purified water to what we have termed The Omicron State. The Omicron State is a state in which the unlimited nature of water is fully unfolded. The word "energized" does not even begin to describe Omicron State Water!

There are several different types of Elixirs, including "Soul Body Purifier," "Astral Injection," "Manifestation Nebula," "Akashic Recall," "Paradigm Shift," and several others. Each variety comes in a four-pack for only $119.60.

In the unlikely event that your Mystical Wonders and Protonic Creations dev... er Creations do not work, you are, alas, S.O.L. A disclaimer on the site says, "Due to the unique energetic nature of our Creations, returns, exchanges and refunds are not possible."

But the point is probably moot, since they can't NOT work. "The Energies constantly generated by our Creations have unlimited potential to profoundly influence the human experience when properly directed by intent. Use with appropriate premeditation as amplification of your intent will occur! Protonic Creations are meant to become extensions of your being and respond to your focused intent. They bond with you on the deepest energetic levels and fully integrate into the fabric of your life - this is one of the many reasons our Creations are so effective and powerful."

Lest you are concerned that, despite their care not to call their products "devices," the good folks at Mystical Wonders and Protonic Creations might be in danger of sharing the fate suffered by the father of the orgone, fear not. For their Creations also come with this disclaimer: "No health claims are made or implied. People with pacemakers or other implanted medical devices should use caution when using our Creations due to their magnetic components… Protonic Creations are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any condition. We do not make any therapeutic or health related claims. Always seek the advice of a qualified licensed medical professional."

I knew you'd be relieved.

And the Lord led us into the land of the Orgonites...
If the Creations sold by the Mystical Wonders folks are a little too pricey for you, never fear: the Internet is full of less expensive products from some profoundly disturbed people other serious orgone scientists. Consider, for example,
Sherry Shriner, a Carrollton, Ohio Christian who is also an alien expert ("Aliens are losers…fallen angels!"), and, as it happens, an orgone researcher. She offers a genuine orgone pendant for only $21.99.

Sherry first got into orgones because Yahweh, aka God, told her about them.

I kept praying that the Lord would show me how to tear down the strongholds of the New World Order. And He kept leading me to Orgone.

Sooner or later I realized it had to be the answer since He kept leading me to it and I began to research it. I ran into groups online where it is quite a mixture of believers and non-believers who had already spear headed their own orgonite movements to neutralize these towers. And they were doing it by what they call "tower busters" however I changed the way they were being made and have made them even more powerful. I call them Orgone Blasters!!!

The towers Sherry is referring to are what most people believe to be cell phone towers, which in reality are not cell phone towers at all, but mind-control devices used by the New World Order, or the NWO. They exert this control by emitting extreme low frequency (ELF) waves, which, Sherry says, mimic brain waves. And the NWO is doing its dirty work subliminally. "They're talking to you," Sherry warns, "subliminal hypnotic messages…courtesy of these towers…in particular they are Mind conditioning and Mind control towers and they're going up in every neighborhood across the country… Sensitive people can pick up messages such as ‘Accept The New World Order’ and others being blasted by these towers. If you see white flashes of light emanating from them then, and even if you don't…they are working to condition your mind."

Thank Yahweh, then, for Sherry’s Orgone Blasters, which fight this insidious mind control. "Not only that," she adds, "they will repel anything evil and keep it away from your yard, home and family!! Unwanted aliens and demons on your property? No problem bury a few of our OBs at each corner of your property!"

In her research, Sherry has discovered that there are different types of orgone energy:

Orgone is an energy. It creates an energy of either positive energy or negative energy. Positive energy orgone repels evil. Negative energy orgone attracts evil.

Naturally the pagans like negative based orgone energy and they add many extra things such as cursed water and objects into their orgone to magnify the amount of negative energy it will produce. They also wind their coils counter-clockwise as opposed to clockwise that are inside the orgone. Some people don't think it makes a difference but it does.

The only orgone I make is Positive energy orgone and I have the instructions on my websites.

Just as darkness cannot stand light, they can't stand positive energy either. Anything negative such as demons or aliens will be repulsed and repelled by something positive.

If you’d rather not spend even the modest amount Sherry charges for her Orgone Blasters, she tells you how you can make your own cupcake orgone blaster.

Somehow I don’t think this is what Wilhelm Reich had in mind. But then, what do I know? The important point is that, one way or the other, the orgone lives on.

And now I’d better go. Not only has this post dragged on more than long enough, but I am seeing white flashes of light, and I am hearing voices, deeply disturbing voices, whispering ever so faintly to me: Accept the New Whirled Order

* In addition – and I'm just speculating here – there may also be a teeny-tiny little FDA issue with the word "device."

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Friday, April 20, 2007

Let me hear your body talk

"Speak, Body, Speak!" commanded the large bold-faced headline in the email. Reading those words, I pricked up my ears, half expecting to hear my body, or someone else’s, say something. But not a word came from any body. The email, however, said plenty.

The person behind the email is Israeli native turned New Yorker Dr. Shoshana Margolin, MA, ND, PMD, CCN, CBN, NBC, CNN, CSPAN, NBD, PDQ, MILF, LMAO,* a naturopath and homeopath who has been in "holistic practice" since 1972. According to her web site, she "developed the epitome of Holism by interweaving Scientific Nutrition, Full-spectrum Homeopathy, Applied Kinesiology and Emotional Detoxification into a unique naturopathic tapestry." She has pioneered "numerous cutting-edge diagnostic and therapeutic modalities, among them Holistic Testing – which identifies the causative factors underlying any condition (physical or emotional) with great precision."

And, since "quantum" is a word that is charged with meaning in the New-Wage world, you probably won’t be too surprised to learn that Dr.Margolin is also the inventor of something called Quantum Therapy, which, according to her web site, is "the ultimate healing modality... light years ahead of anything else that’s available on the planet." Quantum Therapy "corrects…problems at their core level, through use of non-toxic, non-invasive natural modalities, which are in harmmony (sic) with the living body."

When asked by an interviewer for a weekly newspaper** how her approach differs from that of other holistic practices, Dr. Margolis answered, "Mainly in four aspects: completeness, precision, depth and results. Both testing and therapy are full-spectrum and multi-dimensional."

Dr. Margolin’s approach is based on what she calls Biological Communication, of which she says:

It is a two-way system: On the one hand, it prompts the body to reveal the underlying causes of pathology and dysfunction and to identify obstacles, blocks or barriers that may be interfering with the healing process. This is done through Holistic Testing. On the other hand, the body leads us to the selection of the precise natural, non-invasive and non-toxic healing modalities that it needs in order to create the profound changes that lead to health restoration - gently, quickly and completely. This is the Quantum Therapy part. I want to emphasize, that both aspects are non-medical.

Dr. Margolin is also a fairly prolific author, and has just come out with two books, Let The Body Speak and Let The Body Ask. Still to come: Let the Body Plead, Let the Body Discover, Let the Body Reveal, Let the Body Heal, Let the Body Win, Let the Body Rejoice and Let the Spirit Soar. She explains, "The term ‘Body’ as used in the Holistic realm is not restricted to the flesh-and-blood structure – but rather refers to the 'intangible' components of the Self (emotional, mental, spiritual and cellular memory)... an energy totality!" That’s a lot of territory.

And for those who are seeking out a life coach (which we were just talking about the other day), Dr. Margolin also happens to have a site that will help you find a coach and/or be a coach. So how do you know whether you are qualified to be one? I’m glad you asked. Dr. Margolin offers a simple checklist – and the good news for those of you considering a new career path is that it’s easier than you might have thought to be a coach:

Be A Coach

  • Do you have vast experience or expertise in a particular field?
  • Do you have skills that can be helpful to others?
  • Do you often find yourself being asked for or giving advice?
  • Do you enjoy sharing your knowledge with people?
  • Did you gather valuable information for years – which can be shared with and save other people precious time, energy and costly mistakes?
  • Are you able to inspire, motivate, encourage and uplift others?

If you answer "YES" to any of the above, you may qualify to be listed in our new Be A Coach index, where people will be able to find you by subject or area of expertise, by geographic location or by languages spoken.

Hmmm. The Rev and I have this 135-pound Doberman/Rottweiler/black Lab mix named Rex. I may have mentioned before that Rex is the most flatulent dog we have ever known, bar none. He would put poor Walter to shame. Rex is an absolute expert at passing wind, no matter what he has or hasn’t eaten. He definitely has vast experience in the field of farting. And to tell the truth, I think he actually enjoys sharing his expertise with us. I honestly believe that dog gets a sadistic pleasure out of seeing us run out of the room when he lets loose. And, yes, we are often "inspired" and "motivated" to uplift our butts and move them to another part of the house – or to banish Rex to the hinterlands of the hacienda – when he "shares." In addition, I think Rex’s talent goes beyond a mere bodily function; I do believe it is a skill that could be helpful to others, particularly those who find themselves cornered in a room full of Secret enthusiasts who are members of an affiliate program such as SGR. So…let’s see, that’s four out of six of the points above. That does it. I am going to sign Rex up as a Flatulence Coach.

How do you know if you need some coaching yourself? Here’s another handy checklist on Dr. Margolin’s site:

Find A Coach

  • Do you ever feel that you need advice, support or additional information?
  • Do you wish to be more successful, efficient and competent in your life?
  • Do you want to improve relationships, family life, time management?
  • Do you want to make more money, take your career to greater heights?
  • Do you want to be motivated to exrcise (sic), slim down, change your diet or enhance your appearance?
  • Do you want to expand your horizons - or be guided into greater spiritual awakening?
  • Are you success-oriented? Do you care enough to be the very best that you can be?

If you answer "yes" to any of the above (and even if you don't...) – YOU NEED A COACH!

In other words, even if none of the above apply to you, you still need a coach.

So if you want to be holistically tested and quantumly therapized, and/or you’d like to be and/or hire a life coach, give Dr. Margolin a holler. Now if you’ll excuse me, my body is saying something to me. More specifically, my olfactory system is urgently whispering that we need to get out and get some fresh air. Yep, you guessed it: Rex’s body just "spoke" again. Pheeeewwww.

PS - Speaking of Walter, here is a gratuitous political cartoon. I wish I'd done it, but I can't take credit for it.

*Okay, not all of those credentials are real. I’ll leave it to you to determine which ones are and which ones aren’t. Go ahead, it will give you something to do. In all fairness, though, I will say that Dr. Margolin seems willing to give allopathic (traditional Western) medicine its due...sort of.
**Neither the interviewer nor the newspaper is named, but the interview appears on Dr. Margolin’s web site.

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Monday, April 16, 2007

More reasons to go on living

So many marvelous events and people are whirling around my cosmos these days that I am a little overwhelmed. My email box today was fairly bursting with miraculous, mind-blowing news that the Ascended Masters have told me I simply have to share to with you. Here are just a few tidbits...

Like a bad Penny, she just keeps turning up
If you’ve been hanging around here a while, you’ve probably met Mafu, aka Penny Torres, aka Swami Blonde. Mafu/Penny/Swami, a JZ Knight wannabe who has an ashram in Ashland, Oregon, has everything a gal needs to forge a brilliant New-Wage career path – not the least of which is a penchant for speaking in dreadful fake voices. If you’re a little bored with Esther, Jerry and their imaginary pals the Abe Gang, and JZ isn’t your cup of tea anymore, give Swami Blonde a try. She usually alternates between a frowzy aging-hippie guise and a butch-blonde look, and I frankly can’t tell who or what is supposed to be speaking through her at any given time. I do know that this Mafu character is supposed to be a 32,000-year-old entity of some sort – a spring chicken compared to JZ's imaginary bud Ramtha, but still pretty bloody entertaining.

Anyhow, Swami Blonde is back. Actually, she never left, but I just received an email announcing her online home study program, "The Kundalini Blue Pearl: Ascending The Nadis." The Blue Pearl is a brilliant blue light, the size of a tiny seed, which is said to appear to the meditator whose kundalini has been awakened. I am pretty sure my kundalini is still snoozing, but nonetheless I see a tiny brilliant blue light quite often when I close my eyes, or, for that matter, when I’ve been looking at this blog too long. I think that’s probably due to the lousy lighting in this place. Stick around here long enough, and you just might get your energies awakened too. In fact, the background and images on this blog have all been specially charged to "cleanse" you as you read.*

You can check out Mafu/Penny/Swami on this video. But don’t say I didn’t warn you about the appallingly bad accent.

Out in the desert, you get more channels
And speaking of imaginary friends... I just got an email from my favorite spam email service about a "How To Channel" workshop being hosted by Florida channel
Linda Dillon, whom her website describes as "a living portal for the energies of the higher realms." Her credentials are pretty impressive: "As one of the clearest channels in the world today, Linda allows the messages of Love, insight and guidance of the Council of Love to flow unimpeded. The Council of Love incorporates God Source, the Ascended Masters, the Archangels and the Unified Forces of the Outer Galaxies." That’s a heck of a lot of incorporating; I’d sure like to see the legal papers. And I'll just bet that Linda has a whole stable of really bad fake voices.

Her channeling workshop is going to be held in the Mojave Desert, specifically, in Joshua Tree, California, on May 4-6, 2007. Judging by the promo copy, it’s going to be a spiritual extravaganza:

With the support and company of the Archangels, Ascended Masters and our personal guides we will skip dimensions and jump through the portal. We will walk the labyrinth and medicine wheel; we will hike Crystal Mountain where the star ships come to refuel; we will laugh and dance around the campfire…

…This gathering has taken on a life of its own – the energy is building and calling to us. In this spectacular landscape of the high desert we will meet with our expanded sacred self; our guides and totems; our star brothers and sisters; the Archangels and Masters. And we will channel them all.

Workshop participants will also "experience" the Integratron, not to be confused with Woody Allen’s Orgasmatron. The Integratron, pictured to the left, is "an acoustically perfect tabernacle and energy machine sited on a powerful geomagnetic vortex in the Mojave Desert." Taka, the resident musician, will treat attendees to a Sound Bath, and they will also be able to "listen and channel the sounds of our souls, and we will listen to the heartbeat of Terra Gaia." And all of this will only set you back $670.00 USD.

By the way, Linda also offers a range of other services, such as chakra balancing, as well as must-have products such as Lemurian laser wands. Eat your heart out, Harry Potter.

Do Mulder and Scully know The Secret?
A while back one of the commenters on my blog asked me what I thought of the "
Mulder and Scully" of the Secretron community. Or, to be more specific, "The Fox Mulder of Manifestation" and "The Dana Scully of Success."

Well, I really didn't know what to think because the truth is, the web site to which my correspondent provided a link doesn’t actually tell anything about who these people are. It does, however, state that "Mulder and Scully," like a growing number of New-Wage hustledorks, are the keepers of the real secret...you know, the one that wasn’t taught in The Secret.

Among other things, these two will teach you, "What being deeply in love has to do with your ability to manifest... the underlying meaning behind the secret mystery of 'sex transmutation' - and it's not even close to what you're thinking!"

I thought about Mulder and Scully again today because I received an email from someone named John Martel, presumably not the lawyer-turned-novelist but another John Martel altogether, who apparently has signed on as an affiliate of the mysterious duo.

I did a bit of Googling and was able to find out a little more about "Mulder," who seems to be one Barry Goss of Oregon. He says:

My overriding mission in life – the kind of purpose-driven passion that causes me to smile as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning – is ...

To connect with energetic, outside-the-box thinking, prosperity-minded, deliberate attractors –- personal empowerment authors, manifesting mentors, and teachers of higher-learning – who have the knack to teach the so-called 'unexplained' and make it 'explainable' ... and applicable to our own personal growth and development.

Besides being The Fox Mulder of Manifestation, Barry is also "Life Champion and Chief Conversationalist" at ManifestLife.com. His partner on that site, one Mr. X, aka Jody Sachse, is the site’s "Spiritual Warrior and Equal Opportunity Enlightener."

Unfortunately I can’t seem to find any info on Barry/Mulder’s female partner "Scully." All I know is that the two of them offer a "shocking 54 minute, 34 second Talking eBook" that will teach you "the principles behind ‘The Secret’, AND the life-changing universal laws and techniques that ‘The Secret’ kept... well, a secret." According to the site, the Talking eBook is free (but with strings attached, no doubt. You'll probably get sucked into some ravenous hustledork-mail-list maw and never be able to escape).

But it was the aforementioned John Martel who actually sent me the email today, explaining, "I was chosen as part of a small group of people to get preview access to a new multimedia resource that will not only explain the principles behind ‘The Secret’ if you don't already know them... but also reveal WHY they might not be working for you the way you had hoped. And what I've seen and heard has really blown me away!"

He went on to talk about the limitations of the DVD, concluding:

Watching the DVD over and over again, in an attempt to find an ‘Ah-ha’ moment is going to frustrate you.** If you are like millions of others around the world and are ready for an inexpensive resource that WILL, hands down, take your application of The Secret much, much further down the rabbit hole*** of understanding, then you will want to check out Masters of the Secret.

… now brace yourself for this (good) tsunami of wisdom & insight into Universal laws and much, much more!

Finally we’re going to have a good tsunami. It’s about time. Maybe if this keeps up we’ll have a joyful genocide and fabulous famine as well. No doubt about it, The Secret is changing the world!

But I’m still curious about the Dana Scully of Success. Maybe she is Barry/Mulder's imaginary friend. These days, every good New-Wage capitalist seems to have at least one of those.

PS (added on April 20): She exists! I was just too overwhelmed by Barry/Mulder's overly-busy MySpace page to scroll down far enough to find her. (Is there such thing as a non-overly-busy MySpace page?) Anyhow, "Scully," Barry's partner in hustling and copyright violation (the copyright belonging to FOX Network), is Canadian hustledork groupie Heather Vale, "talk show host, author, journalist, internet interviewer." Now you know.

* Or to make you involuntarily evacuate your bowels; I forget which. Either way, you'll feel refreshed and cleansed afterwards.
**So much for Rhonda Byrne's statement a few months back that a "recent study" proved that if you watch The Secret just seven times your brain will be permanently transformed. And so much for those folks who claim to have watched The Secret up to 200 times in one week. Apparently they were just wasting their time if they did all that watching without the benefit of Scully and Mulder's eBook.
*** And once you're down that rabbit hole, don't be surprised if you run into some babbling Bleepers.

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