Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Move over, quantum physics!

The cover story in today's Parade Magazine is about dark energy, which supposedly makes up two-thirds of the Universe. The story, which you'll be able to read online as of Tuesday, May 29, is by Meg Urry, who is an astrophysicist, Yale University professor, and soon-to-be chair of the Department of Physics at Yale. Meg says that what we discover about dark energy, once we figure out what the heck it really is, may very well impact our lives as much as – or more than – quantum physics.

Granted, Meg is just a physicist and not a real scientist like Bob Proctor, James Arthur Ray, and all of those other Secretrons who 'splained the scientific nature of the Law Of Attraction to us. At the very least, however, her ideas can be a starting point for a whole new generation of New-Wage wonders.

Can't you just see the possibilities unfolding? Not only is the concept of dark energy rich in metaphorical and mythopoetic potential, but the discovery of dark energy,
when we previously had no concept of it, is one more example of what the conspicuously enlightened have been trying to tell the skeptics and naysayers for years: Science doesn't know everything. And there are always new things waiting to be discovered. Take that, naysayers!

So if you're a New-Wage capitalist, I urge you to read the Parade article. Do a little more research on dark energy if you think that will make you sound more credible and give you more scientists to quote out of context. And then go out and make a DVD, write a book, and offer expensive workshops that demonstrate how the concept of dark energy offers scientific validation of whatever New-Wage philosophy, modality or technology you happen to be selling. Oh, yeah, and if you're spiritually inclined, don't forget to include the notion that dark energy is proof that God exists.

C'mon, hustledorks, time's a-wasting!



Anonymous Blair Warren said...

I can see it already...

The Secret of Dark Energy

The Missing Secret of Dark Energy

Install and Transcend Dark Energy

The Light Side of Dark Energy

The Dark Side of Dark Energy

The Inside/Outside/Upside/Downside of Dark Energy

Beyond Dark Energy 1 and 2

Certified Law of Dark Energy Practitioners

The Marketing of Dark Energy

Now everyone will be able to live the life of their dreams!

Any guesses on who we might be able to turn to for more information? And, how much do you think the information might cost us once we find these experts?

If Dark Energy is anything like Dark Chocolate, it may be a little too rich for most people. But hey, we live in an abundant Universe!

Remember, the Universe likes greed.

Sunday, May 27, 2007 12:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Rational Thinking said...

I predict that it will be highjacked by LOAers as proof that they were right about the nature of the universe being one of expansion and abundance. Ugh. Astrophysics will probably be hailed as the new quantum physics, which will be so last year.

And doubtless there will be plenty of laughs to be had along the way. I thoroughly enjoy your blog Connie. As a recovered New Age bliss-ninny, it's required reading.

Here's to wit in a woo world.

Sunday, May 27, 2007 1:29:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Blair, those are wonderful ideas. I especially like the possibilities inherent in the Law Of Dark Energy, or LODE. As in the MotherLODE...

I can't wait to see what the hustledorks will come up with. These are exciting times to be alive.

Sunday, May 27, 2007 1:57:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Yeah, RT, I think you're right. Astrophysics, or perhaps even astro-metaphysics, just may be the next big thing. I'm sure that the prestigious metaphysical universities will be selling degrees in astro-metaphysics before too long.

And thanks for the praise; I'm glad you're enjoying the blog. Stick around, 'cos there's plenty more where this came from!

Sunday, May 27, 2007 2:03:00 PM  
Blogger Wilderbeast said...

This could be the missing link!

I really want to get excited about this extra ordinary finding, yet knowing that the Yale department of physics relies heavily on grants I am a bit slow to show unbridled enthusiasm.

Now of course, just because many scientists in the past have conjured up fictitious findings in the attempt to dip into the seemly bottomless pit of government funding, why would I suspect this could or would be the same? After all this is Yale we are speaking about. We know that names of great people reside in the anals (spelling?) of this fine establishment; Bush, Clinton, Cheney just to mention a few that can be trusted.

The bottom line is I think that I should start positioning my self as an expert right away. It is now proven by the “secret” gang that education or integrity is something you do not need to bother yourself with in order to become a qualified spokesperson or teacher for any new scientific law such as the LOA. You just need to get there first with the best packaged for your new con (product) and of course a team of experts/teachers that will echoes your every utterance (Getting on the big O never hurts either).

So Connie keep yours eyes open I feel that the new school for “Dark Energy Professional Practitioners” (DEPP) is going to explode soon. Thanks Blair, but I am not giving you any credit for the name because I attracted it, so there ha! I feel the dark energy working already!

Please do not feel left out Connie as soon as I can I will exploit any of your work also.

Have a great memorial day with the Rev.

Monday, May 28, 2007 2:01:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

LOL, Wilderbeast -- I am proud to have my work exploited! I wish you much prosperity. And remember, as Blair says, the Universe likes greed.

Monday, May 28, 2007 4:00:00 PM  
Anonymous durga/moi said...

There was an article about Dark Energy in NYT about 6 moinths ago . It was pretty interesting. But it will be more interesting to see how it will be used by pseudo science hustlers.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 8:50:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Exactly, D/M. I think we just need to sit back and prepare to be enormously entertained!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 9:40:00 AM  
Anonymous moi/durga said...

For any one interested in real science, I found a good explanation of dark energy at this web site:

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 11:47:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thanks very much, M/D. I am all for promoting real science; although many subjects are difficult for me to grasp, I find the real thing infinitely more interesting than the pseudo-stuff.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 11:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Blair Warren said...

Hey Wilderbeast...

As for not giving me credit, just remember:

One cannot overstate the importance of integrity. That's why we should only steal ideas we honestly believe in.


Tuesday, May 29, 2007 5:55:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

"An amateur borrows ideas; a professional steals them."

I say that it doesn't matter if you believe in the ideas or not, as long as you can get other people to believe them -- and pay for them.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 6:03:00 PM  
Blogger Wilderbeast said...

Connie and Blair,
SHAME on YOU two!
You took the momentum I was gathering with a great feeling scam/con and added possible scruples and a twist of reality. You both should be ashamed of yourselves; you leave me standing here with my little finger at the side of my mouth almost ready to do my best “Mr Evil” laugh, but oh no!, now I have to go back and reconsider whether I can plagiarize your work or not without moral regret.

I need a beer!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 7:18:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

So, WB, now I suppose you're going to blame Blair and me for driving you to drink? :-)

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 9:18:00 PM  
Anonymous hechizos said...

What is the difference between quantum physics and mechanics? Are these considered a true science? If so, why?
thank you for your help

Sunday, March 20, 2011 7:35:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hechizos: The main difference between quantum physics and quantum mechanics is that quantum physics is generally a more popular marketing tool than quantum mechanics among New-Wage/McSpirituality/selfish-help hustledorks and their admirers. In reality, what really excites them is the word "quantum," but physics sounds more modernly scientifical -- perhaps even transcendent -- than "mechanics."

I imagine, however, that in some communities, particularly Boulder, Sedona, and Ashland,OR, a quantum mechanic could make a tidy living promoting various New-Wage skills, such as practicing energy work on vehicles.

I hope this answered your question. If you have any other scientifical questions, please do not hesitate to ask.

Monday, April 11, 2011 10:39:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Actually, becoming a Quantum Mechanic might not be such a bad idea:

(That's from my old Cosmic Relief BLP (book-like product). It was inspired by something called "Transmission Meditation," a creation of classic McSpirituality huckster Benjamin Creme of Share International. It was really big in Houston in the early 1990s.

Monday, April 11, 2011 11:12:00 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home